Paper Mario: Sticker Star

To claim that I "hate" any game adorned with Mario's name -- one that personally translates to "God" in no less than thirteen different languages -- is not an action I'd ever take lightly. Not that any mainline games haven't ever fallen below expectations or there haven't been less-than-stellar spin-offs, but my reverence for Nintendo's mascot doesn't stop at his being responsible for getting me into gaming; nay, it's how both the character and his endless gaming catalog represent, to me, wholesome appeals into innate accessibility. However, as crass as I fear such overt distaste would come across, it is said devotion to the portly plumber that requires further diligence and honest criticism on my end, for I cannot possibly turn a blind eye to whenever my idol takes a misstep lest he ever grow arrogant with pride. With both respect and duty in mind, that is precisely why I declare the following:

I hate Paper Mario Sticker Star. I abhor it as if it killed my cats, that it's the source of the suffocating nihilism greeting me every morning with further news of climate change and Orwellian fascism, and that, yes, as if it's the primary culprit behind stealing my pencil sharpeners in 5th Grade. That I'm hardly alone in this opinion is my lone sense of comfort: while the game isn't without its ardent defenders, Sticker Star has drawn no sense of passionate ire following its release; enough, even, to make me steer clear for years after launch, and yet I still wasn't ready for when I finally sat down with it. To claim it is Nintendo's worst modern product might be disingenuous in a world where something as anti-consumer as Animal Crossing: amiibo Festival exists, yet even that vile, tone-deaf consumerist filth has something resembling an easily-gleaned purpose. (That, and well, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones with how they turned its failed amiibo line around with Animal Crossing: New Leaf's Welcome amiibo update.) Sticker Star has nothing to justify its impenetrable design, let alone be worthy of the Mario brand: we may laugh at a line or two, ooh and aah at some shiny colors courtesy of 3DS's 3D feature, but any fleeting joys are instantly smothered by patently obstructive puzzles, actively mocking the very ideas of telegraphs and progression as we rack our brains at how anyone in development thought this could provide entertainment.

Worldly Weekend: Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance

You know what? I'm skipping ahead. I don't have to play Kingdom Hearts: re:Coded to know it's utterly expendable to the series at large and that it was only designed for capitalizing upon the brand.  The latter's particularly indefensible upon having the arduous displeasure of watching its movie adaption in Kingdom Hearts 2.5 HD ReMIX, wherein I was begging, pleading for the bloated mess to end. We'll get to that when the time comes, but needless to say, I have very little interest in repeating my trauma with something so mercenary.

Anyway, here we are with 2012's Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance for 3DS. Commemorating Kingdom Hearts' tenth anniversary, it's only fitting that a) this would be the very last game to (finally!) utilize the original graphical engines and b) this would be the first in a line of games paving the way to Kingdom Hearts III. In fairness, I cannot recall if the latter was an explicit decision (the "lineup" bit, I mean), but it certainly exists now: there's the mobile Kingdom Hearts χ (which I haven't bothered with, and apparently will have key references in Kingdom Hearts III; groovy) and 2/3rds of Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue: the playable Kingdom Hearts 0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage (the very end of which directly leads into Kingdom Hearts III's opening) and Kingdom Hearts χ Back Cover. (A cinematic adaption of the aforementioned mobile game, which further convinced me it wasn't bothering with.)

Super Smash Bros. for 3DS

Being that I have elaborated on my love for Super Smash Bros. countless times on this blog without having penned a single review, it's imperative I open this essay with an admonition: namely, I do not possess any interest in a fighting's game competitive depth. This is not a passive-aggressive jab against others' personal tastes -- I've long since stopped begrudging those for their preferences, as I was one of those who conflated vitriolic attacks on post-Melee iterations/series director Masahiro Sakurai with the competitive fanbase at large -- but the point is, whether or not the latest iteration of Smash Bros., Street Fighter, a Dragon Ball game or even a debut in last year's ARMS presents offensive or defensive playstyles or sufficient movement options are matters beneath my notice. This is not a matter of willful ignorance; they're simply not things I have an eye for.

Nay, my occupation with fighting games lies in three factors: a) whether it's fun hitting things, b) whether they maintain -- at least on a base level -- a functioning combat system, and c) if they possess enough content otherwise to keep me interested. Admittedly, this isn't always upheld across the board -- the Smash Bros. apologist in me can admit even now that tripping in Super Smash Bros. Brawl was a fundamentally bad concept, even if I don't personally care about it -- but the point is, not much of that is very different from what the general gaming media typically elaborates upon in fighting games; in other words, if you're looking for a systematic breakdown of Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS as fighting games, I suggest you look elsewhere.

Detective Pikachu

Warning: While I don't outright ruin anything like "whodunit", my discussion of the story does imply some things; in other words, reader discretion advised.

The oddity of my first Pokémon review being a spin-off is duly noted, particularly considering that aside from Pokken Tournament DX, the last one I recall engaging with was the first Mystery Dungeon back in 2006 on Game Boy Advance. Still, you can't deny the appeal of Detective Pikachu: as anyone familiar with Meowth from the long-running cartoon will tell you, this is hardly the first time we have witnessed a talking Pokémon, but it's how this particular critter conducts human speech and mannerisms; namely, the adorable series mascot in Pikachu belting out a gravelly, world-weary vocalization and expressing fondness for women and coffee. Also, he's a detective.

A key sign of both The Pokémon Company and its home developers in Game Freak and Creatures relaxing regulations in the face of Pikachu's enduring popularity, which is a direction we should all celebrate. While thankfully nothing reaches beyond a G rating, Detective Pikachu's eye-grabbing concept is unlike anything the series has ever accomplished before: there's no starry-eyed youths seeking adventure, but a young adult cast on the job; no far-off dreams of being No. 1, but personal drive and soul-searching to discover oneself. All hardly adult, yes, but new territory just the same.

WarioWare Gold Review (Hey Poor Player)

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Ahh, the return of WarioWare! It's so good! With so many terrible things happening in the world now, I can at least take solace in that this exists, and it is good.

...and that Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is coming. That Direct was the stuff of dreams -- despite not knowing even a third of the soundtrack, already I'm planning out the My Music selection. Hosting series music between stages is such a dream come true! Oh, I can't wait, I can't wait!

Dedede's Drum Dash Deluxe

While we're questioning the eleven-year absence of Kirby spin-offs, we must also ask: why did it take it so long for King Dedede to get his own game? I mean, really, who doesn't love the gluttonous, self-proclaimed king of Dream Land? His plush design, self-centered antics, not-quite-a-good-guy but not-quite-a-villain morality and penchant for bugged-out eyes have won over many a Kirby fan, myself included, and it is simply ridiculous HAL Laboratory has not granted his own Popstar-trotting adventure to the gaming populace. No matter how you look at it, a downloadable rhythm game ain't gonna cut it!

Still, you could do with a lot worse than Dedede's Drum Dash Deluxe. Like its brother Kirby Fighters Deluxe, this spin-off is also based on a Kirby: Triple Deluxe sub-game by the name of Dedede's Drum Dash, wherein the penguin king hopped along on giant drums to reach the goal all the while clapping and bouncing to the beat of classic Kirby tunes (or perhaps not so classic: not many may recognize the secret Extra song was from Kirby's Dream Collection: Special Edition) Requiring careful precision of jumping, clapping, and navigating obstacles, these four levels were not only among some of the most difficult of Triple Deluxe’s trials, but introduced a welcome dosage of variety hardly explored in the series hitherto (that’s to say, rhythm; only one of Mass Attack’s mini-games springs to mind)

Kirby Fighters Deluxe

In retrospect, the absence of Kirby spin-offs following Kirby Air Ride is quite odd when considering how much of them populated the series' early life: nothing in the vein of Kirby's Dream Course, Kirby's Pinball Land or Kirby's Block Ball ever arrived in the DS era or even GBA. Perhaps HAL felt the sub-games found in Amazing Mirror and Super Star Ultra were enough, the mainline games being a priority as opposed to rebuilding a franchise empire. Whatever the reason may be, the eleven-year absence is evident, and so we must ask ourselves: what compelled HAL Laboratory to develop downloadable expansions on Kirby: Triple Deluxe's own brand of sub-games?

Thankfully, that's an easy one: because they're probably the best sub-games in series history. At the very least, Kirby Fighters Deluxe is a common-sense idea: the original Kirby Fighters was a slightly-altered tweak on Triple Deluxe's engine framed within Super Smash Bros. mechanics, complete with multiple Copy Abilities, stages, items and even its own little campaign. As opposed to the previous design rhetoric of Kirby sub-games -- little time wasters deviating our attention from the main game for just a teensy-bit -- it was the closest any mini-game had reached "game within a game" status within the series hitherto, and its addictive nature repeatedly kept fans coming back for more.

Kirby: Planet Robobot

I don't even know what else to say; I'm spent. Admittedly, I do find some enjoyment in the thought of Kirby adopting a "DESTROY THEM ALL!" glee within his shiny new mecha, but a smiling Angry Kirby brings horrid memories of 2011's Mass Attack, and that cover is never a pleasant thing to remember. Besides, why harp on it when Nintendo/HAL have just put the brakes on their terrible plans for homogenization and came to their senses with this joyous cover for Star Allies? Sure, maybe Angry Kirby will be back to his old tricks someday, but his cynical countenance has been repelled, and that is good enough cause for celebration.

And what better way to commend this occasion by talking about how great Kirby: Planet Robobot is? Actually, calling Planet Robobot "great" is doing it a disservice, for I daresay this is one of the finest Kirby adventures hitherto. None of the familiarity found in the otherwise excellent Triple Deluxe or even Return to Dream Land is present, which is all the more shocking considering this is the third consecutive Kirby sharing the same engine. After situating themselves on the 3DS via Triple Deluxe, HAL wisely took the next step by evolving the series in both gameplay and technical craft, resulting in a title just as ambitious as Return to Dream Land.

In other words, Planet Robobot fires on all cylinders from the very beginning, and that's mostly thanks to the Robobot Armor. Leftover mechs from a mechanical fleet's takeover of Popstar, Kirby's new rides imbue Copy Abilities and morph accordingly into radical transformations: Cutter equips massive sawblades, Bomb spawns miniature explosive robots, Mike produces amplified speakers, and Wheel upgrades into Kirby's own personal fortified motorbike.

It goes without saying they're massively fun to unleash, be it plowing through crowds of mechanized Dream Landers or wrecking the massive hazards (giant 8-balls!) that impede Kirby's path, but that's Unlike Return to Dream Land's Super Abilities and Triple Deluxe's Hypernova, the Robobots are constant forces in nearly every level as opposed to being reserved for the climax. No longer are we required to stop and witness the majesty of Kirby's newfound superpowers, either: as Kirby must obviously ride them, his robotic rampages actively engage both the players and the actual levels themselves.

Not that Super Abilities weren't immensely fun, either, but this means the levels continually incorporate Robobots within their actual design: we use them in everything from solving puzzles, engaging in shmup sections, and taking on mini-bosses echoing the grandeur of a Platinum Studios game, and it's never not thrilling. We witnessed Triple Deluxe tackle unique end-of-level mini-bosses as well, but I can't think of anything that was more exciting than the early-game Gigavolt fight, a giant robot flailing its springy arms about as you systemically unscrew its appendages. The Robobots aren't just exciting; they feel natural and organic.

Naturally, this sets the stage for experimentation -- we observe, for instance, the lead-ups to the lab levels involve a dynamic camera we haven't seen since Kirby 64, wrapping about their stairwells to successfully craft tension before reaching the labs' depths. Meanwhile, certain bosses shift the camera about to present pseudo-3D planes, also borrowing from Kirby 64 bosses (albeit pulling more creative tricks -- much as Whispy Woods reinvented his traditional battle there, the two iterations of Clanky Woods awes as much as Triple Deluxe's Flowery Woods in their early-game spectacle). When considering the presence of the Blowout Blast mini-game, it's clear HAL is inching ever-towards the idea of a 3D Kirby. We've been accustomed to Kirby's 2D-only adventures for so long that such an idea seemed like sacrilege, yet HAL's teases are growing ever more enticing...

Meanwhile, collectable stickers -- be they recycled Kirby artwork, crayon-scribbled characters, or even Kanji -- can be adorned upon Robobots. This is yet another evolution from Triple Deluxe, albeit yet in a "wow I never knew I wanted this" kinda way -- yes, chilling to the ever-swaying keychains was a hypnotic endeavor, but did we ever think to take them with us? While sadly the resolution of the 3DS screen obscures their presence a bit, it's still a delightful little touch; personally, I think Kirby would like to draw on the Robobots, so that's why I always went for the scribbles.

Copy Abilities are also largely winners this round. Jet and Mirror return for the first time since Kirby Super Star, and while Mirror more or less feels the same (which is welcome!), there's something about Jet that feels far more intuitive. Easily one of the wonkier abilities in Super Star, its movements feel snappier and more precise, be it the repeatable midair Jet Headbutts or the somersault spectacle of Rocket Dive. While not supplied with all sorts of new tricks in the vein of Stone or Needle, it's always humbling to witness an ancient ability upgraded for more convenient use.

As for new abilities, considering my affinity with EarthBound, it's only natural I jump into ESP first.  As the main combos revolve around teleportation and a PK Flash-inspired projectile, it's something that takes time in getting used to (particularly in gauging your teleportation distance), so it's not the most handy Copy Ability for just plowing through. When you just want to wreak havoc, however, you feel like a God as you zap about with your newfound psychic powers, particularly in dodging and countering with PK Insight's massive energy outburst. Given that it's the only new ability that has a Robobot form, it's clearly meant to be the highlight of the three, and is easily the funnest once you get the hang of it.

As expected, Doctor is adorable with its head mirror and glasses, and its inspired duality of the physical (clipboard attack!) and personalized tactics (Science Lab, which can unleash various effects) made me come back to it again and again.  Meanwhile, Poison is the easiest to use, yet it's disappointing a number of moves are directly lifted from Return to Dream Land's Water, a Copy Ability cut from the 3DS games. Thankfully there's enough moves to differentiate it -- I enjoy the poison puddles that mini-bosses are so susceptible to -- but I wish it stood out more on its own.

But even if the new copy abilities aren't the most impressive bit about Planet Robobot, the Robobot abilities can certainly make that case, which brings me to the endgame: what begins as a mouth-dropping set-piece of fanservice jet-starts what is by far the most gripping, heart-pounding final boss in all of Kirby. I dare not spoil any of its callbacks or cinematics involved, so I can only claim it is everything Kirby and the Amazing Mirror's half-baked finale desired to be: framing the gameplay in a way that not only plays well, but fuels the narrative context in what may very well be the 3DS's finest technical showpiece.

Enjoy that final boss while you can, though: 100% completion is another matter, for I daresay Planet Robobot is only surpassed by Mass Attack in difficulty for that matter. Searching for all the stickers is no small feat, and I actually can't recall if I ever found the elusive HAL rooms containing the exclusive Smash ability. Still, even those are a cakewalk relative to the wrath of The True Arena: in itself, this may very well be the most difficult endeavor in Kirby history, as never before have spacing, dodging, when to attack have been more cutthroat. It is hair-raisingly difficult, right down to the surprise 1-hit KO of the final encounter, unleashing a never-before-seen string of swears from yours truly. So demoralizing was my experience that I had to write a guide to spare others of my fate, and that it actually aided players gives me great joy.

Thankfully, the rest of the modes aren't as burdening, although not without their own trials. Meta Knightmare Returns comes back as the "what if?" take on the main adventure --  a form of nebulous canon I've adored since its Nightmare in Dream Land debut -- and is home to much of the The True Arena's more aggravating bosses. Perhaps most impressive is how HAL took careful care in applying Meta Knight in what's originally a Robobot-focused campaign: puzzles being skipped or activated via a swing of his sword are nothing new, but that bosses are retooled and that he can still unleash similarly satisfying destruction via his Meta Point abilities perhaps renders it his most successful conquest yet.

Meanwhile, Kirby 3D Rumble ditches the 3D experimentation and alright plops Kirby in 3D as he Star-Spits across isometric environments (which perhaps echoes this cancelled version of what would eventually become Return to Dream Land). While not easy to 100%, its emphasis on combos instill an addictive desire to perfectly plow enemies with Blaster Bullets. Its relative brevity is all too bittersweet, but thankfully Kirby's Blowout Blast is a downloadable thing that exists.

It's only Team Kirby Clash, a take on Japan's beloved Monster Hunter, that may not be so difficult at all, and that's okay: whereas 3D Rumble has to prove its miniature worth through dedicated practice, the meatier of the two focuses on empowering the player through level-ups. Dividing Kirbys into four roles (Sword Hero, Hammer Lord, Doctor Healmore, and Beam Mage), it emphasizes progression through mission-taking: more Kirbys join your party upon reaching levels, and earlier missions. can be replayed for EXP. Obtaining Level 10's ultimate level of strength means the replay value is low, but that's the job of 3D Rumble; here, it's reaching the end of the journey (and, well, there's nothing stopping you from making another file to replay it, or you can just purchase Team Kirby Clash Deluxe, which still keeps me busy even today).

And now we come to the soundtrack, which lies within an...interesting predicament. It's not that series Jun Ishikawa or Hirokazu Ando lost their spark or anything, and yet, despite having recently obtained the official soundtrack, I have difficulty recalling too much of it. I suspect in their complementing Planet Robobot's central machine theme via techno and chiptunes and all sorts of "mechanical" sounds, it all kinda blurs together and consequently, it's difficult to mentally sift through individual tracks as standing out. (Canvas Curse took a similar approach as well, but I imagine that game's emphasis on remixes made it easier to remember)

It's a damned shame, too, because what we do have here is nearly just as excellent as Return to Dream Land and Triple Deluxe prior. The subdued adrenaline of the Robobot Armor theme successfully serves as a rousing introduction to its destructive debut (although I'm more fond of the guitar version that plays in the final battle), whereas the various takes on techno and whatnot forge new ground for Kirby: White Office March ominously treads within the inner recesses of Haltmann Company HQ, whereas familiar Kirby themes are retooled for the laboratory levels (the Float Islands remix being by far the best, echoing a desperate pursuit I can't say I've ever encountered in Kirby).

Of course, this is Kirby, so Ando and Ishikawa are careful in channeling Kirby's innocent and playful nature throughout. This is most evident in Lovely Yellow Va-Va-Vrooms, an actively gentle little theme accompanying a city constructed of juice cartons (with sippy straws as their chimpanzees) and Waddle Dees driving about. Meanwhile, the soothing Underwater Quarter accompanies some what's perhaps Planet Robobot's most stunning setpiece in underwater cities and chandeliers resting alongside glass bottle landmarks.

The Haltmann Company Theme -- the in-game main theme for the intergalactic company threatening to take over Pop Star -- is probably Planet Robobot's most well-known song in that it's Kirby's first vocal theme -- although as it's mostly synthesized gibberish, perhaps "sing-along" would be a more fitting take. Regardless, the presence of lyrics such as "Pay and ergonomic seating, give us favors such as these!" give me great joy, and I can't help but wonder if we'll be seeing more such songs for the future.

And that we even ask that is Planet Robobot's greatest strength: any missteps in homogenized music or level pacing don't discourage its identity as not a quick n' dirty title meant to capatalize upon the closing years of 3DS, but one that legitimately pushes Kirby forward in organic level design, technical achievement (seriously, look at the CGI below; Kirby looks like vinyl!), and even world. On top of that, it's the outright funnest title I played in 2016, and as far as Kirby goes, I can't ask for anything more than that.

Kirby: Triple Deluxe

My friends, as you all certainly learned back in 2014, we lost the Angry Kirby war. What you see above is not just the cover for American audiences, but for worldwide consumers; sadly, this includes Kirby's native homeland of Japan. Whether it be HAL's belief that this was the best way to show off the new Hypernova power or them being sick of adjusting the cover nearly every time Kirby leaves his Eastern shores, it proves he's not safe even in his home country. While the above cover is hardly among the worst Angry Kirby offenders -- that it's at least designed from the ground up renders it not nearly as awkward-- what it represents proves it won't be going away anytime soon.

Let it be reminded that Angry Kirby is an aesthetic paradox at odds with the presentation and spirit of Kirby, yet I can't think of any case more true than Kirby: Triple Deluxe,  which is such a downright pleasant game that very nearly reaches the heights of Epic Yarn, Dream Land 3 and Rainbow Curse. This is not an exaggeration; every time we start the game, the main menu greets us with an assortment of blue skies, vines hosting collectible keychains of old Kirby sprites dangling accordingly to the 3DS's gyroscope, and a mandolin-accompanied arrangement of the gentle Save Hut theme from Kirby Super Star. Coaxing us into that warm, heart-gooey nostalgia that traps us into reverie, we're immediately at home.

Hey! Pikmin Review (Hey Poor Player)

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I had faith in Arzest all along they'd be able to redeem themselves with this Pikmin spin-off, and I was right! Needless to say, I think I loved Hey! Pikmin more than most reviewers did. At the very least, it and Pikmin 3's Mission Mode should keep me entertained until Pikmin 4 arrives, so I can't ask for more.

...man, if Pikmin 4 takes forever again, though...

Where 3DS Can Go From Here (Nintendojo)

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My first Nintendojo article in some time! I'd been meaning to juggle my output for the site alongside my GameSkinny coverage, but outside of some news reports it never came to be...

Regardless, the recent 3DS Direct did have me wondering on how much longer the handheld would hold out for, and that's where this article came from. I really do mean it at the end when I say I don't want it to go away...my favorite handheld system of all time!

(Speaking of the 3DS Direct, it turns out I made a prophetic prediction on Pikmin for Nintendo 3DS just over a month earlier! See the comments for more info.)

How to beat The True Arena in Kirby: Planet Robobot (GameSkinny)

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My first ever guide! Writing this was just as tough as completing the actual mode; I actually had it nearly finished over a week ago, but a browser blunder ended up deleting the whole thing! ARGH! It happened very much the same way as the last boss's final phase, too.

Planet Robobot is definitely one of the tougher Kirby games out there, so I hope this guide will hope those struggling with the mode. Remember: use Stone!

Tomodachi Life (Gaming Grunts Review Repost)

Note: This review was originally published in 2014 for Gaming Grunts, which went under some time ago. Having recently salvaged most of my articles on there, I've decided to give them a new home here for archival purposes. Please bear in mind they differ in structure from this blog's reviews, and be sure to join me at the end for a bonus reflection! 

The lovable Mii avatars have gone from playing sports, throwing parties, karting with Mario and even engaging in a bout of fitness, so surely starring in a life simulator shouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary, right? As expected from a life simulator, Tomodachi Life on the 3DS has everything from bachelor pads to turbulent romances and the heartbreak of having your child leave the nest…but what happens when you throw in the disturbed minds that brought you the original WarioWare? The answers involve bacon, romantic relationships between expressive caricatures of your favorite television stars and video game characters (which Final Fantasy character do YOU want to pair with Oprah Winfrey?!?) , and lots and lots of head scratching…both literally and figuratively.

Premise

Welcome to Tomodachi Life, where you take on an omniscient role as your Mii’s “look-alike” to care for an island development. Whoever lives on the island is up to the player: they can either be culled directly from the 3DS Mii Channel or through handy-dandy QR Codes littered across the net. Whether it’s your father, SpongeBob SquarePants or your fourth-grade teacher, anyone can live in your apartment building, dine together in cafés, forge friendships and romaces, get married, shop for eccentric clothing, take photo-ops, and dream of worshipping the 1995 failure Virtual Boy with your friends and family.

Wait, what?

Humor

Much like WarioWare before it, Tomodachi Life utilizes the power of absurdist Japanese humor to separate itself from the rest of its ilk (that is, life simulators). Thanks to a fully synthesized speech program and customized animations, observing the Miis’ daily lives is a genuine surprise unto itself. There’s a special joy in the having Mii look-alikes of people/characters you know, but it’s their hysterical animations and hobbies that keep the player hooked. Whether its spotting your Kanye West Mii spying on his friends’ night out at cafés or peeking into their dreams of being sentient seaweeds, Tomodachi Life never lets up with its barrage of random humor.

To quote from personal experience, I’ll never forget the moment when my Peggy Hill Mii received a letter instructing her to meet on top of the apartment that night. As she made her way up, my mind wandered with the possibilities of what was to happen. Was she to receive a love confession, or was Mrs. Hill walking into a deadly conspiracy? My heart pounded as the silhouette on the roof was revealed to be….Kirby/Super Smash Bros. creator Masahiro Sakurai, dressed incognito as he handed Peggy a package and left her with one message.

“You have to protect my family’s recipe.

Interaction

The “gameplay’ of Tomodachi Life revolves around your Miis’ happiness levels. By granting them snacks, gifts (such as clothes, room interiors, and daily headscratches) and having them forge friendships and romances with other Miis, you’ll be able to teach them new tricks and catchphrases. Ready to grant your Epona the Horse Mii the power to perform pop musicals, or have Nintendo president Satoru Iwata angrily exclaim “PLEASE UNDERSTAND!”? You’ll have to be ready to bribe them with hamburgers or jester costumes or the like. Of course, food and clothes cost money, but you’ll earn payment through daily donations and maintaining your Mii’s happiness levels. The more Miis you include, the more cash will flow in.
By the way, I happened to dress Iwata in the aforementioned jester costume. He seems quite satisfied whenever he goes for a jog on his treadmill.

The Miis are also fond of interacting with the player and tend to invite you into playing games. These can range from simple memory games to frustrating games of catch, but I was personally a fan of their take on football, which consists of slamming the bejeesus out of a table with their fists (or in the player’s case, repeatedly the screen with the stylus) waiting for their opponent’s football player figures to tip over.  Expect to be rewarded for winning with gifts such as a hypnotizing pendulum and a AR camera, all of which further contribute to the hilarity.

For those into Mii customization, one of these gifts will be nothing less than a godsend. While the Miis were flexible already in design in the right hands, unique to Tomodachi Life is a hair-color spray that offers a wide variety of colors.  As hair colors were rather limited before, this’ll be quite useful in perfectly replicating, say, your favorite anime character (or, y’know, if you want a blue-haired Alf or something, you’re free to do so).

Island Activities

The island home of Tomodachi Life is full of activities for the Miis to engage in. Anyone who’s browsed Youtube videos of the game is no doubt familiar with the Concert Hall, where the Miis can form bands and perform pop, techno, rap, and even musicals. The lyrics can be adjusted to your liking, so if you want to witness the hilarity of a Nintendo developer boyband singing about love and peace, it’s up to you.

Events are also scheduled in various locations on the island. These can range from barbecue get-togethers at the park to games found at the amusement park. These locales are not only gradually unlocked as more Miis move in but are scheduled in real time, so much like Animal Crossing you’ll have to appropriately schedule your day to participate. Rumor has it there’s even an 8-bit RPG tribute hidden somewhere, so adjust those clocks.

Sound

Tomodachi Life comes equipped with its own speech synthesizer program, so the Miis speak in complete English with a sort of robotic inflection. Each Mii can have his or her voice fully customized and adjusted to levels of pitch, rate of speech, and even accent, so the power to create a garbled, raspy abominable caricature of your favorite (least favorite?) politician is yours.

As one would expect, this cranks the silliness up a notch when Miis are proposing to each other or screaming their frustrations all the while flailing about their plastic, Lego-esque arms. Going back to my Peggy Hill Mii as an example, I deliberately made it so she enunciates every word as slowly and deeply as possible within the confines of her high-pitched squeakiness, so I can’t bear to skip any of her long-winded dialogue.

Replayability

At its core, Tomodachi Life is a game that emphasizes management and laughter. Life simulation is already a difficult genre for many to get into, and Tomodachi Life’s Mii approach might not be enough to change minds. Like Animal Crossing before it, repetition will gradually sink in and no amount of wacky faces from your Conan O’Brien Mii will change that. I’ve personally yet to reach that level of boredom, but I like to think my tolerance in that area is stronger than most.

Those who stick around with Tomodachi Life will be rewarded with new gifts from Nintendo’s SpotPass service throughout the coming months, yet I doubt that’s an enticing reason to stay for many. Much like, again, Animal Crossing, continually engaging with the Miis of Tomodachi Life for months on end is a task only its most dedicated players will undertake.

Conclusion

Tomodachi Life is as weird as they come, and I couldn’t be happier about that. I don’t quite know how long I’ll be entertained by watching my Mr. Saturn and Epona Miis dating each other, but I’m still laughing at them just standing there staring. And watching Iwata scratch his backside in his goofy jester costume. And taking photo ops with the Miis of myself and my brother angrily taking a stroll down the beach. If any of that sounds appealing to you, this life simulator can’t be recommended enough.

8/10

Pros

• Off-the-wall Japanese humor is like nothing you’ve ever seen before
• The novelty of Miis has never been better
• Interaction with the Miis is hilarious and fun to discover
• Fun mini-games
• Voice adjustment potential is limitless
• Slamming those footballfigurines!

Cons

• Repetition can set in.
• Time management with your Miis can be time-consuming and humor may wear thin

Bonus Reflection: I actually haven't gone back to this game since Iwata passed away. I'm not sure I have the heart to see him happily jogging on his treadmill, still wearing that jester suit.

On the other hand, Tomodachi Life was a great coping tool in dealing with Michael. I picked it up not too long before the anniversary of his passing, and just before that date I came up with the idea of including him so I could visit him anytime I wanted. Of course, his Interior design couldn't be anything but the Rock Band one.

I suppose if I could deal with that, Iwata deserves it just as much.

Biweekly Music Wednesday! No. 17 ~ Menu~ (Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS)

Origin: Super Smash Bros. for 3DS and Wii U
Plays In: The Menu and Smash Run.
Status: Arrangement (the main theme for the games)
Arranger: Junichi Nakatsuru

A new Super Smash Bros. game is being held in my hands.

It's unbelievable. I remember once fully believing--at a time where I was undoubtedly too naive--that Brawl was the finale for our beloved Nintendo crossover, and here we are with two versions coming out in the same season. Isn't that crazy? The 3DS version has been released for nearly a week (and, provided you had access to the Japanese release, almost a month), and the Wii U sibling will release first on our shores this November. My dreams of Animal Crossing's Villager, Punch-Out's Little Mac, and Mega Man joining the battle have all come true alongside Sakurai-esque surprises in the form of the freaking dog from Duck Hunt and the entire Koopaling family all stuck into one swiss army-equipped Junior Clown Car. Amazing.

And that theme. Why must every Smash theme be so godly? Truth be told, I wasn't so convinced by it at its E3 2013 debut; granted, that particular version isn't present in the final version (or in the 3DS version, at least), but the instrumentation was so weak and just so...off that it was hard to get excited by it. The closet sense of excitement I could derive from it was listening to this fan-made piano arrangement--which elicited a classic Melee-esque vibe--and I found that more than a little...well, sad. After the stunning glory that was the Brawl orchestra, could this dingy little tune really have what it took to set the pregame atmosphere for the upcoming Smash?

I guess I knew it was only just for the initial trailer, so I held out hope. And it delivered: not only did the arrangements found in this April's Nintendo Direct manage to hype me, but the final version blasting from the E3 footage successfully won me over. Unlike Melee's classicism and Brawl's orchestras, Smash for 3DS and Wii U goes for pregame Monday Night Football, right down to the revving guitar. Every time I hear it, I'm just so pumped to try out everyone in this glorious cast of all-stars.

And just like Brawl, the theme's peppered throughout the game via numerous arrangements. Many fans aren't so happy with this direction, but I don't really mind since this new theme is so goddamn good. Yes, it does mean we miss out on unique themes like Melee's Menu 2 and Trophy theme, yet at the same time every arrangement is such a fresh--even occasionally downright beautiful--take on the song that they lend the game even more character. Katsuro Tajima's Trophy Rush is a wonderful cacophony of fast-paced action, Yoshinori Hirai's Gallery/Hoard is a prestigious little blend of march and techno, Torine's piano rendition of the Classic: Final Results screen is both gorgeous and reflective, and let's not forget Taku Inoue's chiptune StreetSmash!

I'm just so happy, you know? Six years ago, when the toxicity pervaded the fanbase following Brawl's release, I never dreamed another Smash would arrive to placate my sadness...and yet here we are, ready to relish in another era of Smash Bros. The fun's only just begun with the 3DS version, and I know that when the Wii U version launches, this song will be there with me when I'm ready to jump into the floating temples and mountain crags of Battlefield and beyond.

Let's settle it in Smash!

Final Thoughts: WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS GO PLAY SMASH

Biweekly Music Wednesday! No.2: ~Magnus's Theme~ (Kid Icarus: Uprising)

Magnus's Theme

Origin: Kid Icarus Uprising (3DS, 2012)

Composer: Yuzo Koshiro

Plays in: Chapters 2 and 18 of Kid Icarus: Uprising.

Status: Original Composition/Orchestrated

Analysis: Kid Icarus: Uprising becomes a year old this Saturday! My, how time flies. Seems just like yesterday Masahiro Sakurai was sharing info on the game through Twitter...

What's Kid Icarus: Uprising, you ask? Why, it's only the best game of 2012! Hyperbole? Perhaps, but it's not every day you encounter a game where you can gleefully pull the menu buttons with a stylus or get acquainted with a protagonist with a penchant for floor ice cream. That it's not only a revival of the 1987 NES game Kid Icarus but also helmed by Kirby/Smash Bros. Masahiro Sakurai only sweetens the deal, particularly in the case of the latter since he has the amazing tradition of cramming as much shit as possible in his works (of which occasionally includes pictures of his cat).

Ah, but if I love it so much, why was there no review? Well, there was the whole absence thing, and uh...yeah. But no time like the present! Rest assured, my love of the game knows no bounds. While unfortunately I haven't been able to invest into its absurdly deep weapon/multiplayer system as much as I'd like, lord knows how many times I've replayed the story mode chapters and still laughed at the (wonderfully absurd!) dialogue. That, or the amount of idols I've collected. Or the powers I earned. Or how many achievements I still have to crack. Or just...lord, just about everything. 

Especially the music.

Good god, the music.

Scream your criticisms at the game all you want, whether it be about the controls or how the dialogue wasn't your cup of tea, but the quality of the soundtrack stood far and above just about everything else released last year. While Sakurai opted out of an overly serious storyline to properly channel the original game's tongue-in-cheek tone, the score complimented the chaotic on-screen action with a sweeping epic orchestra that, like Kirby, is flexible enough to transition from Fantasy/Renaissance influences to pervasive touches of Celtic and Sci-Fi. Why, I loved it so much I even bought the official soundtrack with all it's lovely insert artwork.

So which one is my favorite of the bunch? Obviously, the one I picked! Our first character theme for the column, Magnus's Theme plays only twice in the game, first appearing when main hero/angel Pit storms Dark Lord Gaol's castle and finds that a sole human has breached through the castle's defenses: Magnus, the strongest human warrior in the world. A side character who lends an occasional helping hand to Pit, he opposes the Underworld Army as a way both to make end's meet and seek vengeance for the loss of a loved one. The theme trumpets its way back much later in the game, when Magnus reappears in a time where the balance of gods and goddesses have gone awry, and he assists a stupefied Pit in making his first steps to setting things right.

The description above makes it clear what the theme represents: A celebration of triumph and heroics, with adventure and tragedy laced throughout. Magnus is not the most elaborated character within the game, but his theme fills in the blanks. We can grasp that the character has amassed a collection of legendary achievements under his belt, forging friendships with unforgettable companions.Underneath his fame and rugged exterior, however, lies the tragic past that serves as his reason to fight.

I firmly believe that, without a doubt, some of the best examples of game music are the kind that grant you empowerment. It's not just the songs that promfoe that feeling; rather, it's their accompaniment of moments of actual triumph or when in control of an overwhelming power. It's there when you're taking down the larger-than-life colossi in Shadow of the Colossus. It's there when you don the Wing Cap in Super Mario 64. It's there throughout the entirety of Gusty Garden Galaxy in Super Mario Galaxy. It's there with Magnus's Theme as well, though it has more to do with the song's second appearance (the exact context of which I shall not spoil). It's no coincidence that times like these are synonymous with the most memorable moments in gaming, and only through the masterful combination of music and gameplay can it be executed.

And it works outside of the game, too! Try putting this song on your iPod, go for a jog in the woods when you have some alone time, and watch the magic happen. Typically, empowerment game music focuses on one subject, but Magnus's Theme is unique in that it segues through the defining characteristics of what constitutes the character it represents: Achievement, fame, companionship, tragedy, and rising up in the midst of all these factors to overcome what impedes our way.

When applied to the journeys and hardships of the listener, it provides for an inspiring parallel.

Honestly, I'm surprised I love it so much given that, unlike everyone else, I'm not that crazy about Yuzo Koshiro's compositions. While the tracks I've previewed from Actraiser and Streets of Rage (games I have, unfortunately, yet to play) sound rather lovely, I've deduced that the eardrum-raking torture that is Beyond Oasis's score is the primary reason why I refuse to go back and play it. That, and it took me quite some time to appreciate what he was trying to accomplish with the Norfair arrangement in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. 

All that aside, Koshiro contributed some astounding tracks for Kid Icarus: Uprising (the game's soundtrack was a collaboration of several composers, of which included the likes of Motoi Sakuraba and Yasunori Mitsuda). Putting Magnus's Theme away for the moment, the other songs he provide more depictions of Greek fantasy and Sci-Fi bombast, and it's hard to pick a second favorite. Be sure to check out the Viridi Menu, pretty much everything from the Wrath of the Reset Bomb chapter, and the themes for The Aurum and Pyhhron.

Kid Icarus: Uprising's soundtrack is an extraordinary accomplishment in orchestration and arrangement, and it's sad that the negative stigma regarding the game's controls have downplayed interest in both the game's music and Uprising itself (as is the sad case following pretty much every Sakurai game post-Smash Bros. Melee). The game isn't perfect: The story, while remaining wholly entertaining for what it is, has a habit of getting distracted in world-building instead of building up to its main directives and leaves certain factors to languish (namely regarding the actions of the game's true villain and, unfortunately, Magnus himself), and I guess there must some problems with the controls if people's hands are getting cramped. Strip away all, however, and you have a wonderful game bursting with character and a delicious soundtrack.

I mean, really. The second time Magnus's Theme appears is just about one of the best things ever.