Leave Luck To Heaven: July 2013

*NOTE: When playing, I obviously get engrossed into New Leaf's clutches and don't always remember to take photos of certain events. Entirely my bad, I know. While I could simply just replace them with more dialogue, it creates an awkward, uneven flow between the screens/prose. To counter this, I'll just post various screens I've found across the net that match the missing sequences. If the shot wasn't taken from my game, I'll mark them with an asterisk (*). If you find one of your screens here and don't want it on my blog, please let me know and I'll remove it ASAP.

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Huagh....agh...arawrok..no....no...not .again..

Huah..aauuhgAAUUUGGHGHHH JFOR THE LOVE OF GOD LEAVE ME ALONE WOMAN

well then

This particular moment in time was only days after Woody had moved into Hocotate and was forced to become its new mayor. I'd be lying if I said the new furnishings of my then-tiny pad hadn't somewhat lifted his spirits, what with the Super Mario Bros. themed wallpaper instilling a hypnotic, nostalgic sense within me. I suspect that Woody, hard and world-weary as he is, had moved on from video games long ago during his transition to adulthood, and has found a comforting solace within his practic of staring into the 8-bit abyss while lying in a sluggish stupor on his bed. In the midst of it all, he rediscovered an old love suppressed through the trials of his maturation. Clearly, the man needs a new hobby.

I mean, really.

In this case, the Nooklings have been quite kind to Woody. Every day, they offer him fortune cookies for two meager Play Coins, of which contain cryptic fortunes that hint at a certain kind of item. Yes, depending on your fortune, one of the little raccoons will hand you an item from Nintendo's lore. The Master Sword from Zelda. The Fire Flower from Mario. Even a Pikmin hat! How glorious for Woody!

That is, until fate dealt him a dark hand.

My heart had stopped, memories of the worst Zelda game ever made resurfacing rapidly in my brain, assaulting my visual senses with horrid visions. Visions of torturous experiences I thought I had buried long ago. I could not allow Woody to share the same fate.

As he'd been out of the loop with video games in recent years, Woody wasn't quite sure what to do with the contemptible thing, but he knew that the hollow entity that was the Fi Mask filled him with an unbridled terror. Whatever this abomination was, it had to be disposed of. Fast. Having heard that one of his friends had been forced into the mayor gig as well, he hopped on the train and headed for the town of Caerglas, where his Zelda fanatic friend Saria lived...

...and who took great pleasure in torturing Woody by wearing it. Everywhere. All the time.

The reward of torment aside, the whole experience left Woody feeling empowered. For once, he felt as if he was able to accomplish something. The empowerment of his role of mayor had finally begun to seep in, an ridding Hocotate of the demon mask was the first step of his dominance. Maybe he wasn't able to escape from it, but when had he ever been in charge? People had pushed him around long enough, and now it was his turn.

But there was one problem: Mayors kind of have a pussy image.

What this town needed wasn't a mayor; it was a sheriff. Sheriff Woody. Reach for the sky, bitches.

My initial plan for redecorating Woody's house involved recreating the sense of a musty old barnhouse, hence the oversized wood panelling and ivy-invested walls. While obviously not abandoned, much of the interior would be home to antiquated furniture, with maybe only the basement keeping up with modern-day furniture.

While quite nostalgic, I gradually realized the redesign suffered from a crippling flaw: the lack of windows. To properly create such atmosphere, the light shining in from the windows are vital. Such an appearance makes its most impact within the main room of the household, yet with every new room installed into Woody's home, the room's windows disappear. So I had to toss that idea.

But then I thought, since Woody's donning the outfit of the world's most famous cowboy, why not design the house with a Toy Story motif? The cloud design is necessary for this, so it's staying in the main room for now. The rest of the house is a complete mess at the moment, so hopefully I'll be able to show it off next time.

Oh, I guess I should talk about Woody's new villagers. They're such a hoot! I mean, who could ask for better neighb-okay jesus christ just look at this freak of nature

It's alive. Woody saw it twitch, wriggle with anticipation. Ready for its next meal. An infective unibrow feeding on its host squirrel IS MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR. No, really, it lives a few paces to the left! Woody was just has unhappy are you are with this new arrival, and made a point to avoid this alien threat in the scenario shown above. Here, we see Hazel the Unibrow deflecting any notion of its grotesque figure, instead pinning the blame on Woody while breathing rapidly in a manner not unlike the stalker Brainy from Hey Arnold!.

But Woody was a new man now, and was ready to take on his role as Sheriff by kicking ass and taking names. He wouldn't stand for this shit taking over the town. There was just one thing he didn't expect: He and Hazel the Unibrow shared an unexpected kinship.

Yes, an alien host had managed to emotionally worm its way into Woody's heart, and I first realized this when Woody walked into her home. The unexpected sight was achingly familiar, what with the haphazard placement of furniture and a sole companion in the form of a hamster, much like Woody's own parakeet.

Were we about to make a terrible mistake?

Perhaps not, but it wasn't long until I took pity on Hazel. Much like Woody, her life as an independent infective unibrow had taken a turn for the worse, and she was unsure of what the future had in store for her. Much like Woody's initial failure as mayor, she most likely wasn't doing a good job of taking over a mammal host. Just like my avatar, she was lost. Alone. Abandoned in a world she didn't understand.

It was during this visit that the two came to an understanding, and the two enjoy fishing together in Woody's backyard.

She's still kind of a spaz, but she knows I'm in charge. Nothing to fear here.

Oh, and there's also this awesome dog named Shep. Despite being classified as the new "smug" personality, Woody's found him to be an approachable fellow who's rather laid back. This isn't to say his smugness doesn't pop out now and then, but Shep clearly sensed Woody's boundaries as Mayor even before he began to man up and has treated him rather respectfully.

Sometimes, a little too much. I also enjoy that, unlike Bubbles or Benedict, his random comments don't hint at someone who's clinically insane.

He's still kinda douchy, though.

Then there's Alli. She's a poor (wo)man's Del with none of the charisma, much less any of her own. Woody wasn't really sure what to make of her until this following scenario. Remember the coral I put up for sale at Re-Tail?

For weeks, it lied there. I'd given up hope someone would actually buy the thing, watching as the villagers would snap up just about everything else on sale. It has absolutely no decorative value, but dammit, that piece of coral is a symbol of my first attempt at trying to make a living in this town. Does NO ONE around here care for my hardships?

Alli may not have cared for the town's history, but that she was willing to give this lonely coral a home was enough for Woody to accept her. Clearly, he feels more at home.

That, and I suppose it's charming she's under the delusion that she has hair.

Finally, Leonardo. Leonardo, that son of a bitch. You know what Woody managed to find? A perfect orange. If a perfect fruit is planted, it produces a tree that bears fruit so valuable that it rakes in thousands of Bells. So Woody plants it, and Leonardo fucking moves his house right on top of it. No, I'm serious. Right on it. It's gone. No more perfect.

Needless to say, we were pissed, and Sheriff Woody was on the case. Look at the above screenshot. He digs a pitfall for Leonardo to fall into. Right in front of him. Leonardo was watching the whole time. The moment Woody's finished, Leonardo walks into it and falls. I was cracking up so hard I was unable to capture the exact moment. Dumbass.

Thankfully, he's managed to get the hint his kind isn't welcome around here. Stay away from my rare fruit trees.

The rest of the villagers are getting along as you'd expect. Here's a brief slideshow of Bubbles continuing her role as village idiot:

Meanwhile, Benedict is trying his hardest to take over her position. Why is Woody sighing at this particular case of absent-mindness?

Just like the time it took to walk to his house, five seconds is all it could take to ruin Bubbles's reign. Watch out, Ms. Hippopotamus.

And Del is, of course, still a saint. The "grumpy" characters were always interesting in that they never really gelled with the manchild nature of the rest of the villagers, but I have to encounter an Animal Crossing character with a heart as pure as his. Examples of our budding friendship are seen below:

Here's him offering to purchase a sapphire I dug up for 400 BELLS OVER IT'S ACTUAL VALUE. How crazy is that?

Del quickly caught on to Hazel's true identity, and might I add happened to do so just as Woody was walking by. Just affirming to Hazel who's in charge.

Just Woody spreading the Toy Story love by changing Del's "greeting" to everyone's favorite quote.

Why, he's challenged Woody to a game of hide-and-seek! Where, oh where, could he be hiding?

Oh, just five steps away from the town tree. Right behind his house. In plain sight.

I have no idea what's going on here, but I'm assuming it's either a passionate dudebro hug of some kind.

Who else would be the first villager to rest on the town bench but Del? Woody humbles himself to sit next to him.

Of course, he can still be a badass if he wants to. You're not fooling anyone, Del.

Finally, I suppose I should detail the events around town.

Numerous facilities have been constructed around town under my supervision. Check out my hard work. Much more to come!

A new flower shop has been opened by what I'm assuming is some kind of clown-esque serial killer. Seriously, just look at the guy.

"Happy axe." Yeah.

...I still bought it.

THE SLEEPING ALPACA WOKE UP!!!!

Clearly, the giggled whispers I walked into were no doubt related to the subject of his comatose state for the past several weeks. While this "Cyrus" puts up an aggressive act, I'm not sure if I buy it (much less the feeble explanation his wife has).

In any case, the dude makes awesome furniture out of gems, so I guess it doesn't really matter in the end. Still, that some of underground conspiracy lies beneath my notice isn't something I'm quite comfortable with...

Speaking of gems, I got quite lucky one day.

I downloaded house of Reggie, president of Nintendo of America, and slept on his bed.

I still feel kind of dirty, although maybe not as much as what happened below.

Don't ask.

campers god I swear these people just come to my town just to antagonize me.

Woody doesn't have time for charades, asshole. Nor does he like having vampire bunnies all up in his face.

A wandering psychic visited town one day, so I decided to have my fortune read.

Psychedelic trips? Check. Nonsensical ramblings symbolizing the future? Check. Utter bullshit? Check. At the end of her vision, she just told Woody he eeded to wear lucky socks. Bitch.